at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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