I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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