Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
