Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
