I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Girls should come with a carfax report
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
