Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
