So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
