Your dad touched me again.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
