So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
