oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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