He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
