I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
