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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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