You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize