I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
