it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
