Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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