haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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