Plan B is the new Plan A
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
