My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
