doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
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