My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
