No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I didn't notice because vodka
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
