some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
