You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
