Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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