My girlfriend figured out who you are.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
