if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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