Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
