She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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