you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
