The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
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