wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
