you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
