I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
