doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
