Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
