wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
