I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
