his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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