I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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