at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
