We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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