She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
