I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
What a dumb baby whore.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
