Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
