Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
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I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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