Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
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