One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
All I want is dick and wine.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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