i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
