Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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