I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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