YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
