Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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