i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
