i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
