I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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