you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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