There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
