He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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