I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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