Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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