Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
