They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
