i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Randomize
