I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
