i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
