do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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