No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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