the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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