mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
