I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize